Written by Davo
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Topics: Raoul Moat

Friday, 9 July 2010

After Psychic octopus predicted that Newcastle hard as nails man Raoul Moat would not be caught until sometime next year, the Northumberland police have increased the reward money to £20,000 ($17.76).

Speaking at a live news conference at 3am this morning, Deputy Chief Constable Jim Campbell said "This is a Raoulover and we need this madman in custody, because I'm tired".

Jim Campbell also revealed that Moat has sent them another letter. This time it was the letter T, we can exclusively confirm.

Northumberland police will fly out later today to America and ask a leading expert what they think it means. Count Von Count, from Sesame street in the slums of New York, is a leading expert on numbers and letters.

The Count commented: "Greetings! I am the Count. They call me the Count because I love to count things. I am willing to help my friends from England in London to count Raoul Moat...I mean catch Raoul Moat."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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