Written by Newshound
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Topics: Raoul Moat, predator

Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for Raoul Moat Buys Predator Costume
What the fuck are you?

New CCTV footage of Raoul Moat suggests he has purchased a Predator costume from a fancy-dress shop.

Shop assistant Carrie Mutt said that she thought she recognized the shopper, but as he was not carrying a loaded shotgun, nor foaming at the mouth, she thought nothing of it.

Northumbria Police held a press conference stating that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers would be flown in to join the hunt.

''He'll be back......behind bars !'' joked Arnie, as he boarded his plane in California amid a media scuffle.

Weathers was not available for comment, but his aging mother told the press that she hoped the outcome would be better for her son than in the 1987 movie hit.

''My son was ass-whipped by a lizard, and we've never let him forget it''

Hopefully this situation will be resolved soon, but as Moat also bought 2 large packs of nappies during his spree, Police say he could spend days up in the trees, without any need to come down.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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