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Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for Paul Gascoigne helping search for Raoul Moat
"Fancy a half in the Crown and Whippet?"

Police have revealed that as the search for Raoul Moat has entered it's 6th day, the nearby search for Paul Gascoigne is entering it's second week.

"We need to speak to Mr Gascoigne urgently about the disappearance of a distillery in Blyth and the burglary of 2 pubs in North Tyneside" said a detective.

The double manhunt has turned the sleepy town of Morpeth into a morass of police and muscle magazine press as they scour the area for the 2 fugitives.

Mr Gascoigne meanwhile is said to have his eyes on the reward and intends to get to Raoul Moat before the police.

"He's welded up his doors and filled the inside of his car with about 200 gallons of brandy which he intends to ignite when he gets close enough to Moat" said an associate.

Mr Moat, ironically, is said to be a big fan of the fellow Geordie particularly since he quit football, although any confrontation is not expected to be cordial.

A police spokeswoman in the area said - "It's 'nutsville' up here. We're thinking of packing up and letting them get on with it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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