Written by Stevey G.
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Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for National Curriculum to include 'Pole-Dancing'
Not that type of pole-dancing, we think!!

The Government has today announced important changes to the National Curriculum, with regards to schools in England and Wales.

Perhaps the most startling revelation is that 'pole-dancing' and 'lap-dancing' are to be incorporated within the curriculum and will now be taught to all children between the ages of 11 and 16.

Understandably parents are horrified at the news, following as it does earlier reports that trained chimpanzees have been discovered teaching in UK schools and that sex education lessons will now be compulsory for children from the age of 4.

'It's just not right', said one angry mother, who refused to be named.' I send my children to school to be educated, not to learn to dance provocatively around a pole in their underwear. What's educational about that?'

Newly appointed Schools Secretary, Michael Gove was unrepentant. 'The inclusion of pole-dancing in the syllabus is for the benefit of the pupils. We hear that many girls aspire to being TV celebrities or WAG's. A proficiency in pole-dancing will be a distinct advantage in the pursuit of that 'goal'. Furthermore, physical education has always been an important part of the school syllabus. It's simply that we now see the focus of this exercise to be in a slightly different direction.'

Mr Gove confirmed, that of course the syllabus was not just for girls and that boys would also be obliged to take part.

On behalf of all parent's out there I think that I can safely announce that it's official, the world has gone mad!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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