Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 7 July 2010

image for Two South African Lesbians Granted Asylum In England But They Must Leave Their Vuvuzelas In South Africa
The Little Ben Apartments in Soho where Jontussa and Malikeesha will reside.

LONDON - Jontussa Buffatunga and Malikeesha Quancha, two lifelong residents of Cape Town, South Africa have applied for and been granted asylum by the English government.

Buffatunga said that the couple had applied and been turned down by 17 countries. She was asked if it was because of their race.

She replied that no, running had really nothing to do with it, and that it was just a matter of them wanting to bring their prized vuvuzelas with them.

Quancha pointed out that they finally both realized that no country wanted to have its citizens put up with the dreaded incessant and annoying noise that emanates from the South African musical instrument.

Both women agreed that they would give their vuvi's to relatives. Jontussa gave her pink and purple vuvi to her 3-year-old niece and Malikeesha gave her lavender, raw umber, and chartreuse vuvi to her 99-year-old grandmother Darfinia Darfello, who has no teeth, but who can still blow hard enough to play the darn thing.

The two women have already applied and been hired by The London Red Double Decker Bus Company. Jontussa will work in the office answering the phones and Malikeesha will work as one of the bus mechanics.

Both ladies are so happy they have not been able to stop kissing since they got off the plane at Heathrow.

They finally stopped just long enough to have dinner.

In a related story. David Frost is already making plans to interview the two South African Lesbians.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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