Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Sky News, Raoul Moat

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

image for Raoul Moat Manhunt - Sky News Graphologist Ridiculed
Graphology - What A Load Of Old Bollocks.

A graphologist - or handwriting 'expert' - drafted in by Sky News to fill up some airtime by 'analysing' a letter sent to the Northumberland police by wanted fugitive Raoul Moat, was held up to absolute and utter ridicule this morning by a Skoob News reporter.

The ridicule had some basis in reality, as graphology has for quite some time been rightfully considered to be absolute mumbo jumbo.

"It isn't a science," the Skoob News reporter insisted. "It's about as reliable as a horoscope or tarot card reading. It's utter bollocks."

The graphologist - some frumpy old woman with nothing better to do - claimed that the letter Moat sent to the police revealed that he was a very angry man, who was shutting himself off and growing extremely hostile and unpredictable.

Brilliant fucking deduction there Holmes!

Considering that Mr Moat is a fugitive, a suspect in a murder and two shootings, who is on the run with a loaded gun, who is a known steroid user, who TOLD you in the letter that he was sleeping for around an hour per day, and had already stated in his letter that he was at war with Northumberland Police, and that he would keep on killing them - until they killed him.

Our reporter told us:

"Anybody who believes that crap is a fool. I have no idea why Sky News would present this as a science. I'm quite a decent calligrapher myslef, and I can write in any style I choose. It means nothing. Basically, it's all bollocks. It's like phrenology - the study which suggested that criminals could be identified by the shape of the skull - it really is just total nonsense."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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