Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 6 July 2010

image for "The British Birds" The Story of Petula Clark, Marianne Faithfull, and Cilla Black Starring Cheryl Cole, Sarah Harding, and Pixie Lott Premiers in London
Cheryl Cole in her role as Hampstead, England singer Marianne Faithfull.

LONDON - The much awaited true story of 60s music icons Petula Clark, Marianne Faithfull, and Cilla Black had its premier in London's famed Mrs. Eric Idle Royal Auditorium.

The British Birds was produced by noted producer Duffy Bayou-Gauche, who has also produced other music themed films including, Blimey Rings All About - The Story of Ringo Star, Dust Me Self Off - The Dusty Springfield Story, and the x-rated Boa's Up The Arse - The Flamboyant Tail of Elton John.

In The British Birds, which was filmed on location in Soho, Fitzrovia, and Battersea, Sarah Harding, who stars as Petula Clark, has a scene where her obsession with red M&Ms is shown to be her biggest compulsion, even more so that her obsession to papaya crumpets.

Miss Clark was also known to have a tremendous fetish for Black Tea which she personally had imported from the African island of Madagascar on a weekly basis.

Cheryl Cole portrayed Marianne Faithfull excellently. Some of the film's most popular ones are those where Chezza Cole is shown not wearing any panties. Ms. Faithfull had an interesting superstition in that she considered it bad luck to wear panties while performing.

The really interesting thing is that this was during a period when miniskirts were probably at their shortest ever. The film's producer was asked how this superstition first began. He giggled and said that he is pretty sure that it was initiated by Marianne's own band.

Another fact about Ms. Faithfull that hardly anyone knew was that she claimed that her voice was strengthened by drinking goat's milk through a straw. So her manager purchased a goat and a box of straws and both traveled with Marianne's entourage.

And Liverpool's own Pixie Lott was cast as Cilla Black. Cilla was one of the closest female friends the Beatles had.

She wrote in her autobiography My Musical Black Days and White Knights that in her younger days she used to get together with the Beatles each night after they performed at the Cavern and they would all go to the lads room and play Spin The Bloody Bloomin' Bottle until 5 a.m. in the morning.

SIDENOTE: The film which opened on London's Fish and Chips Day is expected to win various awards for the three main celebrities as well as for American actress Kate Hudson who has a role as John Lennon's first wife Cynthia Lennon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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