Written by IainB
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Monday, 5 July 2010

image for NHS rapped over Scaremongering Obesity Letters
"Dear Mr Skull, I'm afraid you are a little overweight., and could suffer a fall..."

The NHS has been accused of trying to 'scare people well' by Health Minister, Simon Burns.

Primary Care Trusts have been sending out letters to schoolchildren as little as an ounce over their ideal weight, telling them that they are obese and will die of cancer, type 2 diabetes or heart attack, despite them still being within healthy norms for their age.

Elsewhere, they have sent letters to elderly people living alone listing all of the hazards for falls in the home, such as low hanging curtains, vinyl kitchen flooring, and having to stretch or bend to reach anything from a cupboard; telling these frail pensioners that a fall alone at home could result in them being left to die a slow and painful death.

"I think that rather than waste money on such terrifying leaflets," said Burns, ironically holding up one such leaflet about the dangers of burns when cooking, "they should instead spend the money treating people and getting the waiting lists down."

Harry Little, an eleven year old who had weighed in at a hefty seven stone eight pounds, approximately ten pounds under the NHS's own definition of fat, was sent a letter declaring him obese. He was so scared by the list of ailments he would get for being a wobbly lard arse, despite his cricket, swimming, tennis, rock climbing and kayak classes, that he is now being treated for anorexia, and weighs just over five stone.

"We are following national guidelines," said Hillary Unwell, spokesperson for the NHS. "A seven year old shouldn't weigh over eleven stone."

On being told that it was an eleven year old and seven stone, Unwell muttered and hurriedly left.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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