Written by Monkey Woods
Print this
Topics: The Spoof

Monday, 5 July 2010

image for No News Worth Telling You About
Stay with TheSpoof.com - it's safe. And lies.

It's happened before, and more often than you think, and yesterday was just another one of those occasions when absolutely nothing on Earth happened worth reporting as actual news.

Several things happened, of course, but they were really the everyday, mundane kind of things that happen every day, and were not exactly newsworthy.

Oh yes, there was the story about the Polish presidential election being contested by two blokes with unpronounceable names - Christian and surname - and titbits about some Hezbollah fellow kicking the bucket, but really, it's not exactly what you would call 'gripping' is it?

And Rafa Nadal won Wimbledon again. SO WHAT? If Andy Murray had won, that would have been news. Dunga is sacked as Brazil's coach. WHO? Obama backs giant solar project. Jesus, we're scraping the bottom of the barrel now, aren't we?

What we really need, is some news - true or not - about the things we really care about, things that matter, and are important to us all. I'm talking, of course, about Miley Cyrus's vagina, or that of Britney Spears. What, exactly, are those two snatches up to today?

How about Lady Gaga? What's she doing this bright and breezy morning? Has Beyonce been beaten up lately? What about George Michael? Has he been interfering with himself (or others) in public bogs this week? Has Elton John had a new hairdo? Come on, this is the kind of news we want to hear about.

What about that pair of roving lotharios, John Terry and Steven Gerrard. Whose knickers have they been sniffing? Ashley Cole's?

On days like this, when there is nothing worthy of being reported, it's good to know that there is always TheSpoof.com to bring readers what they REALLY need - made-up news, the best kind, news that takes your mind off what's going on in the REAL world, things that, if you knew about them, would make your flesh crawl, which would make you heave from the bottom of your stomach, and which would send you reeling for the TV switch to turn the infernal machine off. Better not to know, eh?

That's why we have The Spoof.

That's why we have you, to write it.

You tit.

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 plus 3?

3 9 5 6
62 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more