Written by armfeetandtoe
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Topics: Smoking

Sunday, 4 July 2010

image for Smoking Prolongs Life
Happy days!

A recent study has shown, that smoking can prolong the life of the average person in the United Kingdom.

Experts have studied several hundreds of people over the last 10 years with remarkable results.

In one study, a number of 5yr olds were given 80 cigarettes a day for 3 years and all have celebrated their 8th birthdays with no major problems.

Dr. Rothman, of the Cigarette Health Foundation said it was a; "Great day for tobacco and nicotine addicts".

Abigail Mucus, who has been taking part in the study, said she started smoking when she was 4yrs old. "I am now 10, and have been smoking 100 Capstan Fullstrength every day since my 4th birthday, I am proof, that smoking does prolong life".

Surgeon General, Sir Hedge Benson, said he was glad the study had been done and that 100s of pounds will be saved by the NHS; "Because we will not have to treat so many smokers in the future, well done Dr. Rothman and his team".

Nic O'teen, spokesman for the Tobacco Growers Federation said; "We donated 100 million pounds to this study, and it was not wasted, we knew all along, that tobacco would benefit society and help the growth of young vunerable people in the poorest parts of the United Kingdom".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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