Lord Peter Mandelson has anounced a split from his Brazilian male lover "Reynaldo" because he thinks he may have made a mistake for twenty years and could be a heterosexual.
After spending a night with the ex TV comedian Michael Barrimore they discused just how easy it is to be bored of cocks and after vistiting some London nightclubs together discovered the glory a of nice pussy.
Lord Mandelson said "Wow I never knew all the different things you can do with a fanny- I am now a staunch fan of drinking from a furry cup!
"I can't wait to have a go at the top bits now they look so interesting".
A devastated Reynaldo said "I was really looking forward to becoming "lady Mandelson"!