Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: Aliens, Mars, Asylum

Saturday, 3 July 2010

image for Martian asylum-seeker to be deported
Bloody extra-terrestrial scroungers

An alien being from the planet Mars, who came to the UK in 2009 as an asylum-seeker, is due to be deported in the next few weeks.

Mr Xxrm Shrx, aged 46 Martian years, was an unemployed sand-miner on the barren planet, when he decided he could have a better life in Britain. So he smuggled himself onto a passing NASA probe and returned to Earth with a pile of rock samples. He then made his way to Europe and hid in a lorry to cross the channel to Dover.

Mr Shrx didn't speak a word of English when he first arrived, and his scaly green skin and tentacles raised eyebrows wherever he went. Now though, he lives on a council estate in Croydon with his 16 year old wife, where they have 3 children. He is still unemployed and his entire family lives on benefits. His wife has a crack habit.

He is due to be deported because the UK does not legally recognise citizens from Mars. Human right lawyers protest that he has been unfairly treated and that he should be allowed to live in Britain on government handouts indefinitely.

The government has responded that this does not apply because Mr Shrx is not human. Mr Shrx is due to be strapped inside a rocket and hurled back to his home planet soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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