Ummm....It appears that Skoob News was actually given duff information regarding the Steven Gerrard sex scandal rumours, which we never elaborated on anyway, because we couldn't be sure.
It turns out that Gerrard's wife, Alex, doesn't even have a sister. Much less one that Stevie G was knocking off or knocking up. Not that we ever mentioned that.
The tabloid press were quick to clear that little rumour up, a bit like the FA were quick to come to a decision regarding Fabio Capello's future.
As mere mortals, we can only take the tabloid press at their word. Indeed, to doubt that word would be tantamount to high treason. The tabloids never lie. Everybody knows that.
Seems it was just some malicious twitterer.
That's good enough for Skoob News. Nothing untoward going on in the England camp then. No rift. No hint of a cover up or any suggestion that maybe the minutiae was a little flawed.
We wouldn't dream of stooping so low as to publish unsubstantiated rumours. Just like the tabloids, we only deal in factual information. Not tittilation. Not us.
Which leaves us with the only possible conclusion regarding England's World Cup debacle being that England were shit.
Unless it was his wife's best mate's sister. Or something similar.
Thank God that John Terry would never plumb such depths of depravity. Or Ashley Cole.
Better to think they were just crap than bitching about women. Like women.
More as we get it. And we will. Trust us.