Written by IainB
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Friday, 2 July 2010

image for Nick Clegg outlines plans for electoral reform
Only people with an IQ above 250 can vote

Nick Clegg, deputy leader of the Con-Dems has been outlining his plans to reform the electoral system for the next general election. Before it is implemented, there will be a trial run using the referendum to decide whether to use the new voting system.

"In essence," said Eton educated Liberal Democrat, Clegg, "the voting will be done on a scale of one to three, with the most favourable candidate, or in the case of the referendum the most favourable outcome, ha-ha."

Nick Clegg showed the press the referendum form which contained the choices:

[_] I am in favour of amending the electoral system to use gradiated indication of preference

[_] I am in favour of retaining the existing electoral system

[_] I am in favour of letting Nick Clegg select the next prime-minister

Mathematicians have pointed out that if there is a relatively even split between leaving it as it is and changing to gradiated voting, then due to people filling in all the boxes, as they are wont to do, then this will result in option three being the most popular, for people are unlikely to rank options one and two subsequently. On hearing this news, Clegg reportedly gave a wicked smile.

"There will be courses in how to fill in the forms available for free from all Voting Advice Centres," Clegg announced. "Unfortunately, due to government cutbacks, there is only one of these centres remaining open. However, anybody who wishes to travel to the Falkland Islands to attend a course is more than welcome. Personally, being quite well educated, I would prefer if only relatively clever people could vote, however Dave informs me that this is discrimination, and that this is a bad thing."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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