Fred Murray's semi final Wimbledon match against Ralph Needle was sure to be a winner even though he lost.
The Queen had given permission for Murray to use a Royal Box in view of Needle's piercing serve.
'These foreigners do not always respect private property, I find' the Queen announced disparagingly, glancing at Prince Philip by her side.
'Wear this Box in honour of Britain, or Scotland if you like.'
Murray declared he could not go wrong with the Royal Box at his side.
Worried trainers quickly advised Murray that the Box should cover his private property as the Queen deemed, not be at his side.
Ball girls and boys at Wimbledon were asked to keep their hands ready for some hot action on the courts.
Meanwhile fans were stradling Murray Mound, formerly Henny Hill, getting ready for eruptions of excitement.
Sadly all was in vain. Needle was too good for Murray. The battling Scot went down in three hard fought sets. The Royal Box was of no avail as Needle went higher, stabbing the heart of Scotland the brave.