Written by IainB
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Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for July 4th will be a New Public Holiday in the UK
The Day We Lost The Colonies Day

David Cameron has given the biggest hint yet that the UK will be given a new public holiday to bring the number of public holidays up to the same number as the rest of the European Union.

Original thoughts were the Monday following Armistice Day in November, as there is currently a three month gap between August Bank Holiday and Christmas. However, Cameron has indicated that he would prefer to have a public holiday on July fourth, or the following Monday if it is a weekend.

"This new public holiday won't come into effect this year," said one Downing Street insider who prefers to be called simply "Nick". "However, it will probably be next year."

Downing Street are aware that July Fourth is a big celebration day in the United States of America, with it being called Independence Day. Such is the importance of this day to Americans, that Hollywood named a blockbuster movie after it.

Cameron has sad that July Fourth in the UK will be called "The Day We Lost the Colonies Day" and will be a day of mourning instead of celebration. There may even be fireworks on sale.

"Imagine how powerful the UK would be if we'd not lost America," said "Nick". "This is a day on which we should all examine what we've lost. An introspective day. You can't do that and work on a production line at the same time, so have a day off on us."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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