Written by A MCRORY
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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

image for Pensioner survives being dragged by car
boy racer

Octogenarian Mervyn Forstwerth is toasting his good fortune today after literally walking away from a serious car accident. Mr Forstwerth scrambled underneath the car in a busy garage forecourt in Kent after seeing a 20p piece beside the rear wheel.

Unfortunately Mervyns's cravat caught on the exhaust of a 19-year-olds Subaru Impreza Cosworth. The driver, Maximo a DJ from London drove off with the bewildered 80-year-old in tow, driving round Kent looking for 'hunnies'.

It was three hours before the teenager discovered his cargo. He told me "I stopped at Game to get the new Goldeneye for Wii and this old geezer stood up from behind my Preza. I was going to smack him one when a woman said that he had been caught onto my car. I had the feeling there was some problem since I left the garage but I thought it needed a wheel balance. I had a good check for any scratches and I checked the exhaust. Never know innit?"

"Anyways I looks in my rear mirror innit, this old guys stood up, brushing himself down. Before he walked away I made sure and got his name and address for my whiplash claim. That's when a reporter comes up and axe me what happened. So I tells him 'coz I knew I would get my picture in the paper, brr-aap - raap - raaap !"

Mr Forstwerth, a former RAF captain later told me, "No I don't bear the driver a grudge at all it was my own bally fault, life's too short.. I got to see quite a bit of Kent that I might never have seen."

When asked if the 20p was worth it Mervyn bit the coin and rubbed it on his lapel before walking away, not forgetting to jump and kick his two heels together. Then he looked over his shoulder as he walked away and winked at me. Now I know Britain will make it through this recession.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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