Tony Blair will consult with George Bush on "a frequent basis" during his upcoming election campaign, it was revealed today. The Prime Minister is widely expected to call for a General Election in May when he will be bidding to become Bush's puppet for an historic third term.
"The President has an impeccable track-record when it comes to winning elections," gushed Blair at a press conference on Tuesday morning, "he's a political heavyweight and so far he's had one submission and a knock-out. He's the sort of guy who manages to get a positive result even when the voters want the other bloke. I'm confident that his experience of two successful American campaigns will be invaluable to Labour when it comes to hoodwinking the British people." George W Bush and his father George Bush senior will both be paid undisclosed sums by the Labour party for their pearls of wisdom.
The British Premier's recent years have been marred by controversy over his close relationship with George Bush and the Iraq war. The Iraqi Survey Group's failure to discover any trace of weapons of mass destruction dented the Prime Minister's standing with the UK electorate, "Saddam, you know, he's a clever chap, " commented Blair after the findings came up negative, "I clearly stated he could deploy those weapons in forty-five minutes and that's what he must have done ‘cos when we got there they were gone." Blair faced growing allegations of lying to Britain from his own MPs as well opposition leader Michael Howard. The Conservatives have recently enjoyed an upsurge in popularity, prompting Blair's announcement to use George W as campaign strategist.
ON THE RUN
"We've got Labour on the run, " beamed Michael Howard from his coffin at Conservative Central Office, "this decision to consult with the President is just another example of Mr Blair's cronyism. The British peeeple simply will not accept any more of Labour's lies. The Conservatives lies are far more believable. I believe the peeeple of Britain want a leader they can rely on to make his own decisions, even if they are the wrong ones. I could be that leader. Don't trust Labour. Don't' trust Blair and don't trust Bush." The conservative leader then disappeared off into the night.