Rolling Stoned, the clairvoyant, known for his crystal gazing powers, has been rocking the nation of Afghanistan.
He has excited Barrack Obama, U.S. President, by declaring that the struggle in Afghanistan has nothing to do with Terrorism.
'There's gold in them there hills' he told astonished reporters 'oil too and coal. Enough to keep all America mobile until the end of the century.'
A Gold Rush is expected with Goldman Sachs in the lead. Oil Giant BP is set to exploit the oil fields. BP Chief Executive David Haywire has exclusive rights to all oil found in Afghanistan. President Karzai has already promised BP sole control.
'BP has a reputation second to none in the United States. They are the obvious choice. A world shortage of oil, now expected because of a hole in the Gulf, can be averted' announced Karzai to an amazed audience.
Arthur Scargill, the leader of Britain's National Union of Mineworkers, has agreed to assist with organising the Taliban to develop the coal resouces of Afghanistan.
Scargill, finding himself in this unexpected position announced: 'We can thank Mrs Thatcher for this. She made me famous. Now the Anglo-American Coalition has taken the brave decision to give me this vital role. Rolling Stoned should be congratulated. I pledge to you today that I will save the world economy.'
Shares in BP rose astronomically on the stock market. 'This is what we like to see' said one financial genius 'the Coalition has given us the policies we so urgently need.'