Written by IainB
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Monday, 21 June 2010

image for Butcher sues sign writer
A common Blue Female Chest Area

Arsene Cockbottom, master pork butcher of Scunthorpe has taken his sign writer, Justin Theole, to court, after receiving back his tariff of charges from the printers, claiming that it is nothing like what he asked for, and does not want to pay his bill.

In his defence, Theole had recently purchased a new sign-writers software package that attempts to clean up profanity before printing, and he claims that it is this software, and not him, that is responsible.

The tariff starts off badly, entitling it: "Derrièrene Penisbottom's Sexual Term Bottomchers of Sfemale gentaliahorpe".

Simple items such as pork sausage have been replaced with "male genetalia", whilst the chicken products are now called chicken female chest areas.

According to the tariff, Penisbottom's now sell sirgroin steak, and female bottom steaks. Cockbottom is also complaining at the renaming of his black pudding ring to "racist remark pudding homosexual term".

"It's not on," said Cockbottom.

This is not the first time Theole has been in trouble. When he produced the booklet for Twitcher Monthly, a popular bird watching magazine, the same happened.

"Every schoolboy knows that tit, shag, boobie and pisstail are types of bird!" said Peter Swallow of Cockermouth. "I don't think Theole should work again!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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