Written by Nikki Walters
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Monday, 30 June 2003

image for Girl Survives Bitch Attack
Absolutely Hideous - Two of the Bitches

A young grammar school girl, Felicity Crockett, aged 13 and 3/4, survived a horrific bitch attack today. The young Welsh girl was assaulted by other girls her own age from her Grammar school in Yorkshire.

The Bitches were described as "Hardly human! I mean, they were hideous! Everytime they spoke, total shit spewed out!"

They began by targeting Felicity, mocking all Welsh people and ending with the cruel jibe "My mommy told me not to talk to fucking Welsh sheep shaggers".

Eyewitness, 13 year old Laura, described the attack as "totally unfounded. Felicity has always been my best friend, and she never did a thing to them... It was totally out of order."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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