Written by funwithwords
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Topics: Piss, Frog, Godzilla, Toad

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

image for Local Toad Escapes Godzilla's Grasp in Frantic Pissing Frenzy
Horrified Toad: Mere Moments Prior to Deploying the Dreaded Urine Defense

Weekly World News, UK Bureau -- Reports coming in from the UK today confirm that a small local toad has miraculously survived a harrowing encounter with none other than Godzilla himself this evening.

"I was merely hopping along minding my own damned business when something very large began tracking me from the rear," the shaken toad described of the harrowing tale. "Once its massive shadow engulfed me, I tried to make a quick little fake-out move to the right. Alas, by that time it was a bit late for evasive maneuvering...."

Eyewitnesses speculate that the creature of immense proportions was stalking the friendly little toad in order to satisfy a monstrous appetite.

"I'll bet he was fancying leg of frog," one bystander reasoned of the chance encounter. "Leg and chips."

Others experienced close calls as well.

"Yeah, it, almost, stepped, on me," another escapee breathlessly exclaimed whilst emergency crews delivered oxygen and a breathing treatment to the knotty little fellow. "My, god, that, thing, was... Huge!"

As for the small toad briefly taken captive by the giantly creature, she apparently escaped by employing one of the oldest tricks in the books: she pissed on the hostile beast.

"I'm no hero -- it was all just instinct really," she expressed to the gathering horde of gawkers. "I merely did what anyone else would do in that situation: I peed," she managed with a slight, yet exhausted grin.

Although the little frog escaped the clutches of death by, some would say, unconventional means, she couldn't help but reflect philosophically on the terrifying experience.

"Well, I suppose that just because one frantically pisses oneself doesn't necessarily indicate helplessness," she mused before adding, "Who knows, next time I just might shit myself."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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