Readers of TheSpoof.com were shocked this past week to see the number of articles about nuns on the website. They'll be seeing many more, along with ones about priests, rabbis, ministers and other religious figures, according to Mark Lowton, owner and publisher, who held a press conference yesterday to announce that TheSpoof.com has changed direction and is now becoming a website that deals with religious topics only.
"I have seen the light," Lowton announced. He continued, "I no longer wish to wallow in the mud, serving the dregs of society. A higher calling awaits me."
Some Spoof writers, seated in the front row at the press conference, were stunned, especially when Lowton said, "There's more to life than sex, nudity, celebrity gossip, political muckraking, money, and silly chatter about iPads." To which one of TheSpoof's top writers responded, "There is? Really?"
One sad development in all this relates to a longtime Spoof reader. He had to be institutionalized after telling his wife that he'd been seeing nuns "all over TheSpoof.com." She could no longer stand his constant screaming "they're out to get me" and dumped him at the nearest psychiatric facility. Doctors there diagnosed guilty conscience syndrome and have recommended a 30-day stay, with no Internet access.
In another related development (this time a positive one!), we've now learned that priests in confessionals all over the world are changing assigned penances. At the end of a confession, they used to tell the penitent, "Go, my child and sin no more. For your penance, say three Hail Marys." Their second sentence has now been changed to: "For your penance, go to The Spoof.com and read three nice holy articles about the good Sisters."
Word is that publisher Lowton, in monk's garb, will be crisscrossing the U.K. to visit convents to find some new writers. His only other planned stops will be at a few pubs along the way, just to retain his touch with the common folk. There's speculation that his journey may be documented for a new reality show, "Searching for Saintly Sister Scribes."