Written by j.w.
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Sunday, 13 June 2010

image for World Exclusive - England Goalie Stung!
England's goalie was stung!

Readers of The Spoof would have realised immediately why Robert Green fumbled the ball which resulted in the U.S.A. scoring a decisive equaliser against England.

My sensational reports 'World Cup Shock for England' and 'Bees endanger World Cup' have previously revealed, both the distress caused in the English camp by Barrack Obama insisting the first game between England and America be listed as a 0-0 draw (because of the oil spillage in the Gulf of Mexico - a threat only averted by David Beckham and Obama's children), and also how campaigning Bees* were upsetting the World Cup by a continual loud buzzing protest throughout games, due to the annhilation of Bees worldwide.

Now we can exclusively report the incredible news as to why Robert Green let in that tame shot which gave the U.S.A. a draw against England.

AT THE EXACT TIME THE SHOT WAS FIRED A SUICIDE BEE STUNG THE ENGLAND GOALIE ON THE NECK!

Careful viewing in slow motion of the incident shows a sudden jerk from Green just as the shot is fired.

West Ham fans were adamant that this terrible 'mistake' by their goalkeeping hero was out of character. 'Shut yer north and south' one told an impudent reporter 'Greenie could only have let the nation down if he had been attacked in some way. I have watched all West Ham games and I have never seen our Bob make an error like this.' This supporter admitted that he had sometimes closed his eyes to avoid some scenes of extreme horror during games.

Barbara Windsor, the 'Eastenders' star (whose husband is a distant cousin of the Queen) exclaimed: 'What a carry on! Bob obviously had this lapse because of some unknown cause.'

Readers of The Spoof will know this cause. Hammers fans can sleep easy without guilt. Bob was stung; it wasn't his fault!'

* Suggestions that Brentford fans (whose club are known as The Bees) had anything to do with the Bee protest have been hotly denied.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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