Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 10 June 2010

image for Susan Boyle to sing 'Ain't Nothin But A Hound Dog' for her child support dodging father
From Boyle's 'I Creamed A Dream' album cover

Edinburgh - (Holy Cow!): The offspring of Queen Elizabeth and Pope Joe Ratzinger is still pissed at years of childhood deprivation caused by her absentee father's monumental stinginess.

Redtop reports she would be singing 'Ave Maria' at an open air Mass at Bellahouston Park conducted by the Pope in September were dismissed by her PR as 'bollox' today.

And a St Trinian's Day Pageant parade through Edinburgh was also banned after local school children were thought to be in danger of the paedo-whitewashing pontiff on his self re-inventing UK trip.

Former Opus Dei operative Boyle rose to public acclaim with her rendition of I Creamed A Dream on the UK's top wannabe show Britain's Gut Talent last year.

She has since milked every opportunity to self publicise despite sounding like 'a badly decomposed Myra Hindley on LSD' to paraphrase the Daily Smearer's latest plaudit.

Cardinal Fergus McShergar is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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