Three somewhat unrestrained Spoof Writers were detained by 'elf & safety police last night after an alcohol infused writers conference went awry leading to the frock clad lads exposing themselves during a pub crawl along Birdcage Walk in London near Westminster.
The Scribes, clad only in ankle length leather coats, unbuttoned in the front, appeared out of the shadows like lurking ravens on a dark moor in Scotland, and they sauntered, nay, stumbled down the quay, causing decent people to cross to the other side of the street in fear, disgust and amazement.
Street Cams captured the bizarre activity as seen center right, and the offenders were later identified after Spoof Editor Mark Lowton was called to the station to bail out his prized staff, who were all charged with exposing same, pointing their Perceys with intent, and additional affronts to human rights.
The tall bird on the right was identified only as 'Colonel Juan', and as we go to press Immigration authorities are checking his residency, the no fly list, and have sent his DNA , fingerprints and a picture of the tattoo of Don Quixote on his ass to Bolivia for further investigation.
The mid sized one has been identified as 'Lynton', well know to authorities for causing uproars in public libraries due the his unkept appearance, and lack of personal hygiene. Official complaints newly discovered, reveal a pattern of living in the stacks of local libraries, only emerging periodically to commander a public PC in order to file pedantic stories dealing with English Literature, social etiquette and the primitive lives of Scotsmen.
Lynton was recently awarded $500,000 after the EU Council of Ministers upheld his claim of infringement of his human rights and he continues to maintain his 'flat' in the stacks of the Portsmouth library near the works of Chaucer.
The short bugger on the left, has been tentatively identified as either 'Skoob', or Martin Shuttlecock, both Sousers well known to the police in Liverpool, Portsmouth, Southampton, and the lower east side of NYC.
Interpol has put forth the theory that Skoob and Martin are one and the same person, capable of assuming and seamlessly interchanging identities as the mood strikes them (him).
The three refused to comment, but Lowton had a few words at a hastily called news conference.
"Right! Well, how can I explain this behaviour? I'm gobsmacked over their actions and embarrassed for them, their wives, their girl friends, and of course for the Dead Poet's Society and most of all for The Spoof.com. I've also lost all the adverts from Stella as well.BASTARDS!"
Lowton said that prior to the bizarre incident, at least one of the writers was being considered for a Pulitzer, one for a Nobel Prize for excellence in the Celebrity Non Fiction category, and one was on the short list as writer and spokesman for the Channel Tunnel Consortium as well as the Dustbin Union.
Said Lowton, "Well, right...guess all that's in the crapper now! "
Skoob, or Martin, depending on what day it was, was seen nursing a split eye and a disjointed thumb, which may have been broken during a melee prior to police intervention after several yobs and 4 drunk female party goers with their panties about their ankles, tried to tackle him to get a better look at his kit.
One inebriated wag wanna- be later described it as 'the cutest little thing I had ever seen....made me want to just hug it to death!"
When Skoob/Martin was queried about the alleged incident, he just flapped his arms and quoth, "NEVERMORE!"
A police spokesman confirmed that not one American writer from the Colonies was involved in the incident and credited that to 'remarkable decorum, a solid upbringing, and worthy behaviour we've come to recognize in our cousins whilst visiting and studying our history and culture (sic)."
For full frontal nudity coverage of the incident please go to :