Wakefield - (Antibodies): "Bleedin' cheek!" was the gist of the Crown Prosecution Service's response this morning following a legal defence submission by Bradford Ripper Stephen Griffiths.
This claims 'a cute (sick) hemolitic reaction' turned sour after a childhood blood transfusion - and is responsible for turning the Bradford ex-public schoolboy into a self-confessed human flesh-eating monster.
"My client's suffering from 'transfusion-associated graft-vs-host disease'," Griffiths' legal counsel explained, "a hematologic malignancy eating away at his natural appetite-suppressing immune system."
The legal defence was last attempted by London cannibal Dennis Nilsen.
It didn't convince an Old Bailey judge and jury on scientific grounds because Nilsen's barrister failed to flesh out the argument sufficiently.
Griffiths, currently banged up on a 24/7 watch in HMP Wakefield's medical wing, has been given his very own plasma tv to while away the hours.
A request to confess everything on the Oprah Show 'just like Sarah Ferguson' is under review.