Phoenix Joe has just been informed that BP has been awarded a lucrative contact by the UK coalition government following their "impressive efforts" to contain the small leak (caused by faulty American equipment and faulty American workers) in the Gulf of Mexico.
Government spokesman, Lord Twofacedgit said "The problem is we have huge amounts of oil escaping in London - it seems to be coming from 10 Downing Street. My best guess is that there are millions of barrels per day. We looked at the fantastic job BP was doing over in the colonies - not only stopping the oil reaching the beaches but managing to capture it and ensure that it can still be sold."
He continued "A great British company like BP is the only company up to the job and if they can capture all the stuff that is pouring out of Downing Street we could probably pay off the national debt in a couple of weeks.
More to come as this exciting story unfolds.