Written by Jimbo123
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: beauty, happiness

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

image for Pleasure does not make you beautiful
You're not worth it but at least you've got money for something else

Cosmetics companies are to be banned from 'making up' funky sounding ingredients by regulators who are calling global pharmaceutical companies "One step away from Victorian 'quackery'".

"We've had enough of companies dreaming up 'newly discovered' remedies everyday of the week. Most shampoo ingredients are about 95% the same as as washing-up liquid but when you see their adverts, they sound like they've found the elexir to eternal youth!"

"Then there's the toothpaste. Dentists apparently keep discovering new chemicals to alleviate sensitivity every other week. 'Its our new Pro-parking formula' they blithely announce. No it's not, there's no such thing!"

"Then there's pro-keretin, pro-elastese etc. Next week we'll have pro-footballatine and pro-tennistese - it's a joke."

The regulators are getting tougher on consumer marketing with a yoghurt company already censured for absurdly claiming 'Pleasure makes you beautiful' and a biscuit bar company is under investigation for plagiarising a Nina Simone hit, changing it to 'Got my cherries, got my berries, got my biscuit, got my crunch.'

"You havn't got life dear but you need to get one. It's just a cereal bar."

Make Jimbo123's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 2?

5 3 7 6

Go to top