Written by j.w.
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Topics: Sex, Canada

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

image for The Canadian Method
A sometimes dangerous sexual practice

An extreme form of sado-masochistic sex known as "The Canadian Method" is being advocated by the Government. Not even Alex Comfort's trilogy 'The Joy of Sex','More Joy of Sex'or the little known 'Bored with Sex'covered this sometimes dangerous sexual practice.

Ann Somemore, a dealer in sex items, said: 'I know of the Canadian Method and we do supply equipment to assist with this approach. We shall be stocking up after this Government advocacy. However, I must warn, that it is not a practice for the faint at heart'.

Self flagellation is the prime method of obtaining satisfaction with the added spice of hurting others at the same time. An expert in the practice, Dan Brown, brother of Britain's former Prime Minister Gordon Brown, has written extensively on the subject, finding religious cults were prone to this sometimes gruesome means of obtaining a sexual thrill.

'The Government is quite right' declared Ann Williecock, a prominent M.P. (Member of Punishment): 'if we don't learn the Canadian method of disciplined self-flagellation and sadism we shall find ourselves having to adopt the fearsome Russian method'. This even more controversial practice is similar to Stalinist Russian roulette. Deaths are common.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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