Written by Lady Godiva

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Topics: David Cameron

Sunday, 6 June 2010

image for David Cameron has taken to 'self harming' - he has taken to 'cutting'
David Cameron in happier days

David Cameron is, at present, residing in a psychiatric unit in a very well know London Health Facility. He was sectioned after he was found on his bathroom floor, by his wife, with a razor in one hand and blood dripping from self-inflicted cuts on his other arm.

He said that if Government cuts HAD to be made then HE would start the blood, I mean 'ball', rolling.

He is quoted below:

"There is a huge amount of debt that has got to be dealt with.

"Crossing our fingers, waiting for growth and hoping it will go away is simply not an answer.

"The country has got an overdraft. The interest on that overdraft is swallowing up things that the nation should otherwise be spending money on.

"We have got to take people with us on this difficult journey."

He was taken away by ambulance and paramedics said he was muttering, all the way to the the Health Unit,

"Nobody told me about the debt. No body told me about the debt. I wouldn't have taken the job if I'd know. I wouldn't have taken the job if I'd know. Oh what AM I to do? Oh what am I to do? I WANT MY MUMMY! I WANT MY MUMMY!"

David is expected to make a full recovery as his wife stated, "He's only doing it for the attention."

Writer's note: Notice the dangling participles in his speech. Tut! Tut! Now I'm glad I didn't vote for him. I knew there was something wierd about the man! Mind you, I didn't vote for anyone. I live in Canada now!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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