Written by SpoofyDoofy
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Topics: Airlines

Sunday, 6 June 2010

image for "BA Comrades, UNITE and fly easyJet!" Union Leader latest
"BA Comrades, Fidel Castro urges all Cubans to fly Virgin to break BA."

Paphos, CYPRUS: Strong Union Baron Anthony Oakley is now conducting and orchestrating the BA strike from £600-a- week rented villa with pool in a village near Paphos.

Sitting on a deck chair by the pool Union Baron Oakley, reels off another invective against Willie Walsh, the 'tight fisted' BA Boss.

"I urge all my members to boycott BA and fly with other better run airlines, such as easyJet, where the cabin crew earn £9,000 LESS than the British Airways stewards and where an easyJet pilot flew me to Cyprus have taken a 10 per cent CUT to around £64,500, while BA pilots under the thumb of 'tight fisted' Willie Walsh received an average of £108,400 last year."

"Comrades fly across the atlantic with Virgin Atlantic like I did recently to visit Comrade Brother Fidel Castro. Break the BA management of 'tight fisted' Willie Walsh, as Virgin Atlantic's crew had their pay frozen at £14,400, while BA's 12,000 crew were paid an average of £31,400 last year."

Pausing for breath Tony sips on his iced cool Gin and tonic, before launching off on another fiery union rant.

"I have a message from my Comrade Arthur Scargill. He sends his good messages to you and says if you can close down BA like I did with mines during the coal miners strike, I'll be proud of you all. Arthur has said that he will be supporting the BA strikers by flying on other airlines, such as bmi whose cabin crew earn £17,200, compared to BAs average of £31,400. Arthur Scargill may even consider flying on other airlines such Monarch and Thomas Cook where they are cutting the pay by about 13 per cent."

"Comrades of BA, I salute you, Fidel Castro urges all Cubans to fly Virgin to break BA!""

With that, Tony Oakley goes for a swim in the pool, while back in Blighty, the comrades of UNITE stand firm on the picket lines, bolstered by the news that they have the support of the brothers in arms, Tony Oakley, Arthur Scargill and Fidel Castro.

If Stalin had been still alive, he would have told the 'useful idiots', as he termed the socialist sympathesisers, "Come the revolution, everybody flies Aeroflot!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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