Following the violent scenes of violence and fatal death in the North of England the Royal Thai Government has issued travel warnings for all Thai Citizens prohibiting travel to the UK and the particularly nasty Lake District.
Phoenix Joe was there when Government spokesman for the department of pointless overreactions Somchai Weedlebuff read the following statement from the steps of his favorite massage establishment, he said "Birdman has shooting people many to death and many people falls from the mountain. We also hear about that the Crossbow man is liking to kill the prostitute and making a bar-b-que".
He added "UK is now very place dangerous for the very nice and quiet Thai peoples, UK policemen they drive the policeman's car into foreigners walking along road and every day the black men they be hacking and shooting each other making them to dead - the policemens also head shooting the electrician when him sit in the underground tube train (which is very old smelling and hot - not like our lovely new subground tube) ".
There is big problem big in UK I know because I reading every day the BBC - we now telling all Thai people to travel to nice safe place like Baghdad or Afghanistan, the food is much better there and they not like the killing each other people like they doing in the UK.
A clearly upset Mr Somchai continued "The travel ban be staying until that nice Mr Cameron he being fixed the broked people in the UK".