Written by Mark Percival
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Topics: TV, Virgin (Company), Sky

Saturday, 5 June 2010

image for Sky buys Virgin Media channels
12 Hands!

Sky has announced that it will going legal with the sellers of the Virgin Media channels.

The Board of Directors at BSkyB have expressed their disappointment (and we would guess embarrassment) at being ripped off over the deal.

Once the sale had gone through, and the money transferred to the seller - the channels were viewed for some substantial time by Sky operatives. Despite viewing some 230 hours of footage there was not one Virgin to be seen, or any references to Virgins.

The intention was to enhance their adult viewing range, but Sky have commented that at best the footage would warrant a PG rating, let alone an X certificate.

It was intimated by a Sky employee (who wished to remain anonymous) that this was not the first time one of the Directors had fell for this scam; it is said that just 4 years ago he bought a DVD from a street vendor in Leicester Square called "Lolita rides 12 Hands", only to find it was a fully dressed woman riding a 4' high pony.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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