Written by dimothy
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Friday, 4 June 2010

image for World Cup Team Prepares but England Star Axed from Squad

Up and coming star David Laws is to be left out the England 2010 team. That was the news which stunned fans this week as the boys prepared for their first deficit-reduction match against Greece over the rest of this year.

Laws had been widely expected to remain in the starting line-up after having played successfully in the unfriendly against Labour on 6th May. Squad captain Dave Cameron defended the decision to let Laws go:

"It's true that David was a big player last season, both for the Lib Dem team and for us. He's part of the reason we qualified (for No. 10). Sadly though he's just not the same player after his recent expenses injury."

Reputedly Laws was busy paying some rent to his landlord when he got the bad news. Speaking on condition of anonymity he told us:

"It was a tough moment but I'm hopeful of being back for 2014. I need to keep my private life private and this way my sexuality will be known only to me and to people who've read newspapers or watched TV this week."

Speculating on the future, Laws predicted:

"The team still have some great players. Nick Clegg, my former Lib Dem skipper has got unmatchable pace, he can shift his political principles across the field quicker than anyone else in the game at the moment."

Despite all the upbeat talk, however, England have been dogged by their fair share of bad luck in 2010. Only last season, under former coach Gordon Brown, some players got booted off the team with fitness worries due to training over excessively short distances between their first and second homes. Some even had to go to penalties (at the Old Bailey).

Finally, there's the worry over England's top striker: Derek Simspon, captain the Unite union team. Fans see him as out of control, despite his surprise win in stoppage time against Willie Walsh's boys at the Court of Appeal.

Still, the message here is...we're all behind you boys, we know you can make the cut(s)!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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