Written by LycanthropesLight
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Topics: Economy, Money, Education

Thursday, 3 June 2010

image for Educators Flee From Financial Fate
The remnants of a school's funding.

In recent months, many schools across the UK are finding their historical build, and engraved memories - which may perhaps be recognised as Graffiti - to be frowned upon. Therefore, councils have deemed it absolutely necessary that a vast abundance of Britain's schools are completely demolished and rebuilt with outstanding features and resources to die for!

The initial idea; was that one school, in every county would be selected as providing the most impressive floor plan and blue print for the new build. This plan was of course forwarded and approved by all those empowered in that respect. The next step was to simply inform all Head teachers, who would also play a massive part in developing their new, immensely improved learning environment.

"Oh this is the utter most splendiferous idea to reach the area in years. The children will be overjoyed to say the least!" exclaimed one ecstatic Deputy Head, with an absolutely remarkable positive attitude to the entire scheme. It was this very quote that the entire neighbourhood and indeed, all of the surrounding areas were to remember in time to come. As it were, the employee who shed such joy had an inevitable Back-Street-London accent, in a town where most spoke in a more elitist way.

Only eleven days, post release of the above statement, the school to which the given employee belongs, gave full building permission and produced unquestionable designs for the new building. However, it seems the terms of competition were ignorantly ignored; massively mistaken; or not even read by those in power. Whatever the situation, the rules were clearly stated, and yet clearly not understood.

The school in question immediately gave word for the demolition. What they didn't include into their equation; before throwing a boulder into the perimeter of the Math's block in a threatening manor was the financial side of the project. The massive, massive financial side! "Das ist sehr gross!" demanded Mr N, one of the more intellectual staff members, about the cost of the new build, all the way over from the German quad. He seemed to understand perfectly well the situation, unlike the ones in charge!

"The situation?" you may ponder. Well, what the school didn't seem to grasp, was that the government funding was only for the one selected school with the most impressive plan. This school however, was not the school in question. Therefore, all students attending the school, must now seek education else where, as there is no funding for the new build, and the old has already been demolished. No further questions to be asked. The school has also requested that parents do not attempt to complain, as all of the more important staff -as I write this- are fleeing to a small town called Ilskov, located on the main island of Denmark.

All that is left to say on the matter, I feel is, "Yes, Mr N- it is very, very gross."


Amy. R. Ratcliffe

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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