London - (Killjoys): "Jolly bad form in Whitehaven, eh?" was the gist of a Palace statement this morning as lackeys struggled to spin a fairytale nuptial announcement in the light of Wednesday's Lake District gunshot massacre.
Fawning sycophancy in the Kate Middleton camp earlier this year promised - via American Vogue editor Anna Wintour - a pre-Derby Day engagement statement.
But a yawning £6 billion black hole in Palace finances had already scuppered the idea - irrespective of laughable royal chances to blag the estimated £30 million wherewithall out of Treasury coffers.
"Queen Elizabeth is skint," former Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon said today, "and won't be hocking the Koh-i-Noor to bankroll this foolish New Labour PR stunt.
"Still, rotten luck with that carnage business, what?"