Written by Mark Percival
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Topics: NHS, ASBO

Thursday, 3 June 2010

image for Homeless Man banned from NHS given Asbo
Mr Dearlove's Taxi Service

A homeless man has been given a criminal Asbo, as he is an expert at faking illness, to be able to stay in Hospital; the fraud has cost the NHS tens of thousands of pounds.

Christopher Dearlove, 41, used more than 70 aliases to trick NHS staff into admitting him to hospital. He knew which symptoms to use to be admitted into his own room, on the back of being infectious.

Mr Dearlove has appealed in the High Court, and it is thought his defence will be sufficient to get the Asbo lifted. Our reporter spoke to Mr Dearlove's Solicitors who released the following statement:-

"Our Client is innocent, and we have now called upon 678,342 witnesses who have been discharged from hospital incorrectly in the last 12 months, having to be readmitted as emergency cases with undiagnosed illnesses. We have a further 1,276,234 witnesses to call who were admitted to NHS Hospitals and whose illnesses were misdiagnosed by Doctors. This includes one Doctor who thought a Caesarean Section is a neighborhood in Rome, and Cardiology is an advanced study of poker playing. We anticipate the case will take 4 years 20 days to hear, and will cost the tax payer £2.3million"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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