After the many recent scandals involving the Roman Catholic church and sex, there was only a muffled silence this morning when it was announced that a Catholic priest had been found who was 'completely normal' .
The priest, identified from thousands 'tested' worldwide, cannot be named as he is concerned he may be the victim of reprisals from within the church, and, indeed, fears for his life.
It IS known, however, that he is NOT from Ireland.
TheSpoof.com can exclusively reveal part of the testing procedure used to attempt to show 'normality'. First, priests are told jokes about sex abuse, to monitor their laughter levels. Then, they are shown photographs of naked young men - some as young as 5 years old (the younger, the better, according to high-ranking Catholic ministers), and their reactions scrutinised.
The end stage of the procedure sees the priest placed blindfolded in an enclosed room with a naked boy, who is kneeling in front of the testee. The blindfold is then removed from his eyes, and the priest's reaction noted. If he immediately runs out of the room screaming, he is regarded with suspicion as 'normal'.
The finding of a 'normal' priest is extremely worrying for the Catholic church, and could be very damaging to its reputation in religious circles.
Need I go on?