A well known public figure who has been found stealing from the till has astounded his friends and colleagues by claiming that he only did it to avoid being outed as a homosexual.
Looking pathetic, he said "I didn't really think of it as stealing to be honest....I just thought the laws were a bit ambiguous for gays."
His colleagues, who a little over three weeks ago would have been incandescent with rage at such an abuse of sexual orientation by a man in his position, have seen the light in this age of new politics and offered their support, with one former boss echoing the thief's claims, saying it was his desire for privacy and most definitely NOT financial concerns which led to the theft, and another calling him an honourable man. No one was willing to say that this really is a pain in the butt for the government.
Despite such public backing, he heard the criticism of the people outside the hypocrite alliance, took it like a man, and paid back what he stole.