Written by queen mudder

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Sunday, 30 May 2010

image for Crossbow Cannibal on controversial detox diet
A digestion monitor at work on another inmate

Wakefield, Yorks - (Tasteless): Diagnosed by prison medical sauces (sic) as having delusions of grandeur 'Crossbow Cannibal' Stephen Griffiths has demanded to be put on a diet 'rich in Alpha and Omega-3 oils'.

Griffiths, 40, is on remand at HMP Wakefield where authorities are worried he may be eyeing up fellow inmates for a supply of organically-sourced essential vitamins and minerals.

Criminal psychology specialist Professor Einstein Flinstone said today some cannibals prefer to get their basic nutritonal goodies directly, shunning over-the-counter supplements such as fishy oil.

The forensic shrink previously worked with cannibalistic serial killer Dennis Nilsen in flushing out brain toxins associated with a wholly carnivorous diet.

He advocates the Jeffrey Dahmer macrobiotic regime consisting largely of a lot of roughage and daily doses of bromide.

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