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Topics: Sarah Ferguson

Saturday, 29 May 2010

Still smarting the Queen's decision to restyle her Doshless of York, Sorry Ferguson is set for a High Court battle with creative impresario Col. Jennifer Sanders.

The hard-working actress, who made a small fortune through actual talent, is suing for copyright violation. The basis of the claim centres on Ferguson's recent appearance in a surreality TV program, where she announced between smokes and swills,: "I'm a total, complete, poshiest of the posh aristo and you love it because it's absolutely fabulous!"

Court documents for the claim argue: "This is a pale, amateur imitation of an original work of farce." In a counter claim, representatives contend: "She wasn't actually paid for her efforts, in the end."

At Centrepoint, close sources say several recent comeback strategies have gone about as well as Ferguson's last print interview.

A budget-minded hotel chain denied 'in the strongest possible terms' suggestions she would become spokesmodel for a rebranded 'Royal Travel Lodge', saying "Frankly, we don't want her in our Lodge either."

Our reporters, cleverly disguised as Middle Eastern chat show hosts with yo-yoing weight problems, asked Ferguson if the events of the last two weeks were 'quid pro quo?' The Doshless experienced a fleeting moment of happiness as she replied: "Did you say quid?!?'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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