Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Friday, 28 May 2010

image for SuBo statSue unveiled!
It burns!

A new Susan Boyle statue (or 'statSue' if you will, though you probably won't!) was unveiled to the media in London earlier today. The statue is the work of purple scarf wearing 'The McLuzernator', a member of 'Susan Fans Without a Wealthy Husband'.

Red scarf wearing fanatical loonies (you know the ones - rich husbands, red scarves, hunt in packs, always blessing innocent members of the public, gatecrash all SuBo's parties, post nasty comments on social networking sites!) were suffering from a case of mass amnesia. "We love The McLuzernator!" grinned a chief fanatic. "Especially now the media are involved!"

"We decided to make her member of the month, but then we discovered we'd banned her months ago. I think we should be able to put that down to a simple misunderstanding, especially now the BBC wants to talk to her!" said another chief fanatic while trying to find the never-used 'un-ban' button.

"The statue has a built-in defence mechanism," explained 'The McLuzernator'. "It will squirt anti-loony venom (actually, unholy water!) at any red scarf wearing fanatic who comes within 50 metres of the statue!"

Two red scarf wearing fanatical loonies who attempted to bless the statue were heard shouting "It burns! It burns!" after being squirted with the venom.

The statue is yet to find a permanent home. "I might try and auction it off! I'm sure the fanatical loonies are good for another $8000!" said The McLuzernator, rubbing her hands!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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