Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 28 May 2010

image for Royal Freak Hospital psychologists to probe 'Crossbow Cannibal' Stephen Griffiths
Royal Freak Hospital Emeritius Professor of Forensick Psychiatry Dr Einstein Flintstone will be in charge

London - (Slashers): Forensic shrinks who mapped the psyche of convicted serial killer Dennis Nilsen are to evaluate Bradford's Stephen Griffiths.

The Crown Prosecution Service has commissioned a Category 1 Wackjob assessment amid fears Griffiths may not be fit to stand trial on mental health grounds.

In a chilling copycat reminder of Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe's own reign of terror Griffiths is accused of murdering three Bradford prostitutes.

He seemed pleased with himself today as he told a Bradford Crown Court judge he is the 'Crossbow Cannibal'.

The connection to Nilsen that at first appeared tenuous is gaining ground.

Nilsen killed '15 or 16' men and boys who he lured to his Melrose Avenue and Cranley Gardens homes before killing and dismembering them.

A number of his victims' body parts were then cooked on a kitchen stove before being chopped up and flushed down the lav.

Royal Freak Hospital cannibalism specialist Emeritius Professor of Forensick (sic) Psychiatry Dr Einstein Flintstone is being brough out of cryogenesis to lead a clinical team in the CPS assessment.

The last time he conducted a similar exercise was when Nilsen was officially assessed in a maximum security mental hospital prison.

His subsequent learned paper Recipies for Disaster: Cooking Up a Storm with Dennis Nilsen was published in the professional journal Nature/Nature.

A later analytical tome on the subject outsold Delia's Christmas Cookery by more than 50,000 copies.

Fanny Craddock is 109.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 4?

6 14 8 24

Go to top