Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 28 May 2010

image for Bradford cops to dredge Aire and Calder Navigation Canal
The Wakefield Wriggler giant catfish roams the canal's murky depths

Shipley, Yorks - (Slashers): Police searching for 'Crossbow Cannibal' killer Stephen Griffiths' victims Shelley Armitage and Susan Rushworth are to dredge the Knottingley and Ghoul (sic) Canal section of the Aire and Calder Navigation.

The huge body of water is perennially redolent with leisure boating activities especially weekend pleasurecraft.

A firm favorite with courting couples its gentle twists and turns take in a wealth of local wildlife - including indigenous canal bottom-feeders such as pike and other deadly carnivores.

"Pike? Ee oop, it's t'notorious Wakefield Wriggler catfish you have to look out for," local bargeman Willy Wakefield commented today, "Yorkshire's native equivalent of t'Mekong Giant Catfish Pangasianodon gigas."

Past Wriggler prey has included unsuspecting household pets such as a lock-keeper's Golden Retriever that slipped out for a leisurely paddle, as well as foxes, beavers, otters and suchlike.

BBC naturalist Sir David Attenborough very nearly made a documentary about the fishy Yorkshire monster pirhana back in 2000.

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