Written by Lady Godiva
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Tuesday, 25 May 2010

image for Queen's speech: Tories set out bold plans for Government
Smiling all the way to the bank but willing to shake hands with the poor as long as she can keep her gloves on

The Queen's speech set out the first 18 days of the coalition government. An announcement that there were to be 'sweeping changes', shocked many custodians, janitors and cleaners around the country.

Spokesman 'Billy Broomhead' said, "Why us? What's wrong with the way we sweep? We've used the same brushes and stuff for years and don't need to change now.

We are holding Union meetings across the country tomorrow evening to discuss the issue. If we cannot reach an agreement i.e. 'leave us sweep our own way', then we intend to 'down our brushes' until we get what we want and what we deserve."

Another announcement was that there is to be a 'cap' for immigrants. We are not sure of the design of this cap at the time this article went to press, but it is known that immigrants will be expected to wear this cap until they get jobs and become British Citizens.

It is also know that this cap will fit over any head-dresses which are worn as part of national or religious dress.

The Queen went on to say that the first priority is to reduce the deficit to restore economic growth, but that she is not willing to take a pay cut herself or sell any of her assets. HRH expects every man, woman and child to do their 'bit' except members of her immediate family.

There was no apology from the Labour party for having left Britain in the mess they did.

One Labour member is quoted as saying, "We told them to stop whining and go suck it up! Let's see if they can do any better."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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