Susan Boyle was sensationally announced as the replacement headline act at this year's Glastonbury Festival, after U2 had to pull out.
"Och, I'll show 'em!" said SuBo excitedly. "I've got my tent and wellies packed! Groovy boogie, babe!"
Fanatics were confused as always.
"Is this something like a classical concert?" rambled a confused fanatic wearing a red scarf.
"Well, we've no idea what this festival is or what happens there, but we insist on having tickets! We'll take a nice picnic along!" said another deluded fanatic.
"Oh yes, we've heard of this festival. It's several days of praying and choir music. We should fit in very well!" said some fanatics praying.
SuBo's set will include covers of "Cat Scratch Fever", "Runnin' With The Devil", "Stairway To Heaven", and "Won't Get Fooled Again".
"I'm not familiar with any of those tunes," said a confused fanatic. "But I guess I'll be able to tap along to them!"