Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 25 May 2010

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Don't Tell Us What Stinks. We Already Know. Try Shining A Light Up Your Own Arse.

Citizens of the UK today rallied firmly around the Royal Standard, in total support of HRH The Queen, as the game old bird tries to come to terms with the fact that she allowed her precious son to become betrothed to a ginger haired money grubbing hog from Hampshire.

It transpires that what should have been a horrendous embarrassment to the Royal family - Sweet Sarah mincing off with $40k in a bag, thank you very much - has provided Britain's royals with a much needed boost, as plucky Brits stand their ground and dismiss all the nonsense propogated by Johnny Foreigner.

Sympathy for the Queen, and that overwhelming, typically British attitude of : "How dare you fucking well tell me how to think?" has doubtless added a degree of colour to a previously monochrome situation.

Even Manchester United club captain, Gary Neville, who pointedly never sang 'God Save The Queen' when he played for England, has reportedly suggested that enough is enough.

"It's not her fault, all this corruption mess," a friend of a friend of Gary Neville's told us. "Poor cow's knocking on a bit now. No wonder she's flustered. The ginger bitch should never have put her under this kind of pressure. It's just wrong."

So, as Sarah Ferguson gave it large in LA with Simon Cowell and her equally obnoxious acquaintances, red blooded Englishman Dick Van Lesbian, a chimerney sweep from Whitechapel told our reporter:

"Her Madge ain't perfick. Neither is the ginger nut. But we sorts our own out rahnd here. Anybody wot finks he can tell a proper cockernee like wot I am, tell me wot ter do, or how to fink, they can fahk right orf and no blinkin' mistake mate. In fact - and you can tell the barstuds this from me white? - we will fight the fackers on the beaches, in the fahking pubs, ap and dahn the bleedin' high street, in the fahkin fields, ap the fahkin' haystacks, in the churches, the theme parks, the fahkin motorway services and the fahkin stadium terraces. You can tell the fackers that from me mate. Fahkin foreigners tellin me what to fink! My arse! Look! I'm taking me fahkin gloves off. Cam orn you cahnts! Let's ave it!"

From which we can reasonably infer that Britain stands as one.

All together now...three lions on the shirt!

More radicalism as it comes in. But not bigotry. We don't do bigotry. We're refined don'tcha know.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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