Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Tony Blair, Iraq

Wednesday, 23 February 2005

image for Camilla: People's Stepmother
The People's Stepmother

Eager to be part of the wedding festivities, while desperate to maintain a high political profile (and as far away from the Iraq war as possible) in his 'Meet the People' campaign for the May election, Tony Blair suggested and agreed to walk the bride up the aisle, but was nixed from performing the wedding ceremony or playing his guitar in a solo performance, as Elton John did at Princess Diana's funeral. Blair was also promised that the little man on top of the wedding cake would be wearing a vote for Labour button. The Tory party shouted foul, insisting that the bride on top of the cake wear a Tory banner. Blair defended his position Tuesday night in Parliament, pointing out modestly, that Labour presently own #10 and they would do things Labour's way, adding another slogan, "I'm older and wiser." This prompted the other side to chant in unison, "So is your constituency, and you can't teach an old poodle new tricks."

Ignoring the debate in Parliament, Reuters has annonced that it's a pretty sure deal that Earl Charles Spencer, Princess Diana's younger brother, wont be asked to give a speech at the wedding of Prince Charles and Mrs. Camilla Parker Bowles. The only Spencer blood family members attending the wedding will be Prince William and Prince Harry, presumably, not wearing his rented Nazi costume. The Queen should have some choice words of welcome, warmer than the icy words spoken in praise of Diana after her death.

The BBC reported that Cherie Blair has taken issue with her husbands immerging role in the wedding festivities, telling a good friend that she suggested he adopt a more subdued position, to which Mr. Blair was reported to have ranted, "Look, Queen Anne, you keep the smile shining and I'll try to keep this roof over our heads and rename Camilla, The People's Stepmother."

"Isn't that a bit harsh?"

"People's Consort, makes her sound like the universal whore. You've no idea what I had to go through to make certain there were no more cock-ups at the wedding. The inside of the cake had to be white and not yellow, avoiding the whole Niger yellowcake catastrophe, which committed Great Britain to war in Iraq on false pretenses. Joe Wilson and outing his CIA wife, a felon in the White House, searching for WMD like windmills, it's opening a whole can of worms again. So you may call it too harsh, but the People's Stepmother will stick."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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