London - (Rioters): The dog poo-smeared royal document was dumped inside a Thameslink Gents this evening.
An accompanying official envelope had We Are Not Amused scrawled in blood.
A sneak preview of the contents shows a mixed bag of Old Tory tricks to be announced at the State Opening of the Can of Worms next week.
Top of the list is the No Return To Fox Hunting Bill and the Glib-Dems' Proportional Representation in the Royal Succession Bill.
Other bills come to £911 million, the amount spent annually in continuing the Enron/WTC 9/11 atrocity/George W Bush whitewash and ensuing cover-up.
The wording of the remaining Bills is illegible because of faecal Corgi anus-print smears.
A member of the public spotted the royal insignia-crested parchment and handed it in to Kings Cross Nick where the desk sargeant tossed it in the bin before ringing his snout in The Sunday Smearer...just in case!
Chancellor Osborne, appearing on a scheduled I-can-Blag-My-Way-outta-Anything daytime TV show said today he had no idea why the draft had been dumped in North London's premier cottaging venue.
"Other than it's in a traditional red light district close to a MI5 secret safehouse in nearby Killick Street...." Osborne squealed.
Osborne then railed against massive Labour goverment profligacy, in particular "endemic" Whitehall waste.
This includes annual Labour government spending of £125 million on brothels, er... taxis! £320 million on motels and Lap Dancing parlors; £70 million on fights (flights??); £3 billion on exotic foreign travel; £580 million on pornography and office furniture and £1 billion on advertising.
Favorite royal corgi Miriam Gonzalez Durantez Cleggover is 69.